International Press

While touring Germany, the Steampackets’ team scout, Anthony Matheson, discovered the following article in “Fußball, ist es ein lustiges altes Spiel”, one of the many Football magazines that have suddenly surfaced in the country, designed to fleece the World Cup crazy tourists. Said Matheson in his email “I’m not sure what it means, because the only German I know I learnt from Hogan’s Heroes, and the words “Achtung” and “Schnell” don’t seem to be here. Still the word ‘Steampackets’ caught my eye, and so I thought I would send it on.”

Dieses konnte in Australien nur geschehen. Anscheinend es gibt eine kleine Gruppe Software-Firmaangestellte, die glauben, daß sie eine echte Fußballmannschaft sind. Diese Mannschaft spielt an lokale Gärten während ihrer Mittagspause, die genug harmlos scheinen würde, außer daß als Teil ihres Firmarundschreibens sie die Artikel veröffentlichen, in denen sie behaupten, eine reale Organisation zu sein, genannt das “Callista Steampackets“. Diese Artikel haben eine Anzahl von unterschiedlichen Themen, einschließlich Förderungabkommen, Spieler signings und sogar Gespräche des Betretens der Weltschale.

Die Wahnvorstellung ist ziemlich kompliziert und vielschichtig, und die Artikel interviewen häufig Mitglieder eines fiktiven Brettes, die regelmäßig das Geld der Organisation argumentieren und ausgeben und die sogar Titel wie “Präsident“, “Schatzmeister“ und “Lebesmittelanschaffung-Offizier“ haben.

Aber andererseits, klingen sie genau wie das sogenannte “Socceroos!“

If you would like a quick lesson in German, then come down to Steampacket Gardens on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Rob Jennings,

Steampackets Media Liaison.

The Callista Steampackets: Skill is not an Option

Steampackets 2006

With growing interest in the Steampackets the committee have been searching for ideas for new merchanside. On the back of this, and after many months of speculation and development, the following media statement has finally been released:

“We are very proud to announce the release of the computer game ‘Steampackets 2006’, available on Sega Master System, Nintendo Entertainment System and Commodore 64. We are hoping to release the game on PC, once we can get the Super VGA graphics sorted out.

“Gamers will be given the opportunity to play as their favourite Steampacket, both past and present. With almost 30 players to choose from, ranging from fully kitted out Atkinson to barefoot Vootukuru, as well as a choice of 2 pitches, this game is packed with almost endless variety. Our graphic artists have worked meticulously to recreate in every detail Steampacket Park, down to the orange cones, unexpected potholes and grumpy groundskeepers. Likewise, gameplay has been made as realistic as possible, and gamers will be able to develop their player’s skills in kicking, trapping, tackling, swearing and wading. This is, in every way, a truly immersive experience.”

“We are very excited about this,” said President Adrian Dillon in a pool-side interview. “We have been hoping to tap into the nerd community for a while, and this seems to be our ticket on the cash cow. Price will initially be very high to suck in those people that have to buy new things as soon as they are released regardless of the price. Then it will suddenly become “Platinum” for no good reason, which means the price will drop to $20 or so, and then in about 12 months we expect to see it in the bargain bins next to expansion packs of Diablo 2 and any Playstation Portable game… That recorder’s not turned on is it?”

If you would like to have a virtual kick of the virtual ball, then virtually come down the virtual Steampacket Park on Virtual Tuesdays and Virtual Thursdays.”

Rob Jennings,

Steampackets Media Liaison.

The Callista Steampackets: Skill is not an Option