Steampacket Wannabe

In a new twist on the standard recruitment drive, the Steampackets management have come up with the idea of holding live auditions in front of an audience. “We’re calling it ‘Steampacket Wannabe’,” said Manager Adrian Roberts, “and basically the audience will get to vote who stays and who goes. It’s a concept that’s never been done in any area of sports or entertainment. Ever.”

When asked about such TV shows as Australian Idol, American Idol, Popstars, Search for a Supermodel, Rockstar INXS and the Eurovision Song Contest, Roberts simply replied “We thought of it first.”

The exact format is yet to be decided but it has been announced that the whole team will be involved. Contestants will be asked to put on a display of each of the skills that make the Steampackets what they are, against the Steampackets that excel in those areas. So as an example they will have to get the ball past Staley, kick farther and harder that Vale, jump higher than Mazaraki and, as the ultimate challenge, try and get Roberts to pass the ball to them.

“Of course the whole thing will be televised through our Regional Channels broadcast (http://www.regionalchannels.vic.gov.au/webpics/waterfront2.jpg) and viewers of that live transmission will have a chance to vote for their favourite Steampacket ‘Wannabe’.”

Auditions are open to everyone, and the Steampackets Management are particularly keen to hear from any potential Ladies who might wish to play on the big reunion match on the 22^nd of September. Rumours were floating around that a certain female member of the Steampackets disguised herself as a man and played in last Friday’s match. Whether she was checking out the opposition or hoping to defect to the “other side” is hard to say at this point, but if any further developments arise, they will be reported here.

If you think you can cut it with the other wannabes, why not come down to Steampacket Park on Tuesday and Friday lunchtimes.

Rob Jennings,

Steampackets Media Liaison.

The Callista Steampackets: Skill is not an Option

Kick and Apologise

After a week’s hiatus, the Steampackets decided to use Tuesday’s less formal game to brush up on their basics.

Players shared their various areas of expertise with the other Steampackets in an effort to finely hone what is already an incredibly well rounded team.

The most notable effort was wingman Lloyd Stokie, who started off the clinic with a number of demonstrations of his trademark manoeuvre, the “kick and apologise”; whereby the player with the ball will call for a team-mate’s attention and then, in a bid to confuse his opponents, kick it in a different direction altogether. “You see the subtlety of the tactic,” says Stokie, “is in the apology afterwards. It gives the other team the idea that you really meant to kick it to the person you called, and so when you do it next time they are none the wiser.”

In the course of Tuesday’s match, everyone had a chance to try this one out, with varying degrees of success. “No matter how hard I try,” said Adrian Roberts, shaking his head and cursing himself after kicking yet another goal, “I just can’t seem to kick it to anyone else at all. I can’t even pretend to.”

The boys of the Steampackets are, of course, so keen to get themselves in shape so they will be ready for when the ladies return to the field on the 22^nd of September. “If we’re not careful they will walk all over us, and we can’t let that happen,” said one anonymous Steampacket.

If you want to brush up on your skills before the big reunion, come down to Steampacket Park on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Rob Jennings,

Steampackets Media Liaison.

The Callista Steampackets: Skill is not an Option

39 days to go...