Steampackets: The Movie

Some very shiny limousines have been seen driving around Geelong this week. Word on the street is that there is significant Hollywood interest in the story of the Callista Steampackets. Quentin Tarantino, director of Pulp Fiction and the Kill Bill movies, has been seen in negotiations with club president Adrian Dillon.

In a recent interview for Who Magazine, Tarantino said “Dillon is a very well spoken and articulate man. What strikes me about him is his keen intellect. He has a mind like a steel sieve.”

Of course, rumours are flying around as to what the story will actually be about, and which A-List Hollywood actors will be taking up roles in the film.

Without even seeing a script Johnny Depp has signed on, claiming “I’ve been a fan of the Steampackets for years, and I can’t pass up the opportunity to be a part of this project.” Depp, who has made a name for himself in recent years playing “oddball” characters, will be spoilt for choice. “There are so many fantastic roles to choose from in this team.”

The Wachowski brothers, the creative minds behind the Matrix trilogy, have signed a deal to handle the special effects for the film. “We’ve been in the workshop for months now, using some of the technology developed in the Matrix Reloaded, to create fully rendered 3D versions of the players, to handle some of the trickier Steampackets moves. There are some things those guys do that our insurance company won’t even let our stuntmen attempt. This is where we step in.”

If you would like a role as an extra in the movie, then come down to Steampacket Park on Tuesday and Friday lunchtimes.

Rob Jennings,

Steampackets Media Liaison.

The Callista Steampackets: Skill is not an Option

53 days to go...

1000th Game

Champagne was flowing this week as the Callista Steampackets held a function to celebrate their 1000^th match.

“Issa very special hic!casion,” said an obviously affected, tired and emotional President Adrian Dillon, while making his speech at an open bar event at the Steampacket clubrooms.

“Now look,” he said, microphone in one hand and glass of bubbly in the other. “Look. Looklooklook. Shh. Shh. Shh. Shhhh. I have something very important to tell you all. Shhh Shhh. Sssssvery important. It is. Shhhh! I… Love… You… All… I do… and that’s not just the champers talking, cos I really really really do. Reallyreally. Some people have said the Steampackets were all washed up, and said we were… were milking a dead horse… but I say they don’t know how much… how much love there is right here in this room. YEAH!”

At this point in his speech, Dillon fell off the stage and was not seen again until the next afternoon.

It’s true that, until recently, fears were high that the Steampackets would revert to nothing more than a couple of try-hard software company employees kicking a ball around a council garden. But World Cup fever, mixed with a heavy marketing campaign, has lifted the Steampackets back to the heady heights of its earlier days. Attendance has been as high as ever, and with the Ladies Day reunion match just around the corner (on the 22^nd of September) it’s looking to be another great year for the Steampackets.

If you would like to play with a bunch of hungover football legends, then come to Steampacket Park on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Rob Jennings,

Steampackets Media Liaison.

The Callista Steampackets: Skill is not an Option

67 days to go...

The Callista Steampackets' Greatest Hits

As usual the Steampackets are always on the lookout for new methods of raising money to keep up with the ever increasing budgets allocated to player salaries, catering and management embezzling.

After having explored calendars, trivia nights and all varieties of food-related fund-raising activities, the Steampackets have decided to release a book. The roaring success of “The Callista Steampackets: an awesome history” in 2004 has prompted a follow-up book, due to hit the shelves in time for Christmas.

“What we wanted,” said club treasurer, Kim Mazaraki, “is something that is entertaining, informative and thought provoking, but most of all something that will cost very little to produce.”

The result is “The Callista Steampackets Greatest Hits”. It will be a compendium of every single article published in the Callista Star, from Tibor Kosa’s first article back in March 2004 right up to last week’s shock announcement of the Ladies’ Day reuinion match (scheduled for 22^nd of September, don’t forget!).

Rob Jennings, the Steampackets Media liaison and author of the articles since May 2005, says that even though all the articles are available to Callista staff via their Lotus Notes newsletter archive, he is very excited by the book. “It will be great to have all of these together in the one publication. There are some wonderful memories in there. Remember that time the Barry Crocker sang at Half Time, or that article I wrote without using the letter “e”? It will all be there.”

If you would like to appear in the book before it’s publication, then come along to the games on Tuesday and Friday lunchtimes at Steampacket Park.

Rob Jennings,

Steampackets Media Liaison.

The Callista Steampackets: Skill is not an Option

74 days to go...

Ladies' Day Reunion

Steampackets Manager, Adrian Roberts, has today advised of a special match to be held later this year. “We’re very happy to announce that a Ladies’ Day reunion match has been scheduled for the 22^nd of September. We’re expecting it to be as big and exciting as all of the previous Ladies’ Days bundled together.”

Roberts has been working around the clock to sign the required players, and is very happy with the result.

“Obviously something like this doesn’t come cheap, but we feel that it is worthwhile for the image of the club. The negotiations have been tough, but so far we know that Willis and Roche are confirmed, and we’re in the final stages of deals with Bee, Parsons, Abela and Wijesinghe.”

Roche, whose duties as Catering Officer have taken her off the field full-time since rumours of the Melbourne Krispy Kreme store began back in January, said she was excited to be making a return to the pitch for the September event.

“I can’t wait to kick some butt” she said while sharpening the spikes on her boots.

Always keen to have the last word, President Adrian Dillon had this to add: “This is a very exciting time for the Steampackets. Ladies’ Day has had its problems in the past, but we are looking at this as a breath of fresh blood, and not, as some people have suggested, just flogging a lost cause.”

If you want to prepare for the onslaught of the 22^nd of September, then come down to Steampacket Gardens on Tuesday and Friday Lunchtimes.

Rob Jennings,

Steampackets Media Liaison.

The Callista Steampackets: Skill is not an Option

81 days to go...